Words Mean Something

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I have always enjoyed reading books about places, people and events. There has been times as a parent that I can begin a book and not finish it when I find myself beginning another book. Alhamdulillah, how our personal hobbies can change after having children. So, I have several unfinished books. However, lately my focus has been to improve my understanding of the Quran as well as memorizing some helpful hadeeths. However, I find myself not knowing where I should begin. I feel like I am just collecting bits and pieces. I have started from the beginning of the Quran and find myself stopping becasue I don’t quite understand something that is being mentioned in a certain surah and then I may go to the middle of the Quran and find that what I am reading in black and white makes sense. So, am I reading just to read or am I reading for understanding. It is like teaching reading to a group of students who need to refine their understanding of phonemic awareness.  Personally, I want to understand what I am reading and those words that are so beautifully articulated in the Quran are just not registering with my thought processing skills. I am not trying to read the Arabic. That is a goal I hope to affirm myself in achieving soon, Insh’Allah. So, the question is, as a convert to Islam, who understands the basic pillars of Islam and everything that represents being a Muslimah, should I not be focusing more on learning how to read the Quran in Arabic first or should I be pondering the words that mean something as an impact of how I can better improve my life as a Muslimah? The Quran has been written as an inspiration and devotion that all people should read, reflect, contemplate its meaning and apply it. Thus, words mean something when it comes to understanding what I am reading. I like to relate what I understand to others and so I need to start within myself to prepare those words that mean something. I am far from giving dawah to anyone but I need to feel the reassurance of is there a correct way I should be meditating upon the meanings that are implied by the Quran and what it represents to human life. I want to grasp more of what living according to its teachings really means and entails. 

We have sent down the Book to you making all things clear, and as guidance and mercy and good news for the Muslims. (Surat an-Nahl: 89)

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